So,
you finally made it! Your dream to study in another town or even country has
come true and you’re a few days away from packing your stuff and heading on to
this next part of your life! And then, it suddenly dawns on you: you’re
actually leaving home to go someplace else, far away from everything you’ve
grown up with and known all your life and if something goes wrong, you’re on
your own. No need to panic, just relax and enjoy a few tips from someone who
has been there and done that.
-
You’re
on your own:
It might hit you on your way to the airport, where you realize
you’re going to see your folks again in a few months. It might hit you when you
enter the new place you’re going to call “home” for a while. Wherever it hits
you, it’s probably going to be an overwhelming feeling and you might panic for
a moment, but take that moment to think instead: this was your choice, which
means you were born to handle it. Even if this wasn’t your choice and life just
pushed you towards leaving home, think of it this way: life might be a b*tch
sometimes, but again, it also has a habit of never giving us things we can’t
handle. So even if you didn’t want to leave home, grab this opportunity from
you-know-where and make the best of it!
-
Slowly
realizing it:
You won’t begin to feel like the king of the world on your very
first day in a new place. People are habitual creatures and when our
surroundings change, we become disoriented and confused. I remember sitting on
my bed right after having moved to New York from Greece for college (and after
just having said “goodbye” to my mother who I would see again in five months)
and thinking “What the hell am I supposed to do now?” And I was in New York, for crying out loud; if I
couldn’t find something to do in New York, then I had a serious problem. My
point is that it doesn’t matter where you find yourself starting a new life, it
will feel like crap for the first 24 hours. Then the excitement starts kicking
in…
What
to do:
My advice? Go all out! Explore this new place you’re in and make it your
own. Right after work or class don’t go back to where you live, instead walk
around and see what your surroundings have to offer you. With a little luck you
might even discover some new spots you will want to hang out at. Walk in the
nearby park on your lunch break, sit at the local coffee shop and read a book
or just explore the neighborhood around where you live. Find out where the grocery
store or the pharmacy is. See if there’s anything unique in your neighborhood
that you can take advantage of. Basically, create your new habits so in the end
you won’t feel so out of place.
- Making
new friends:
Aside from habitual, humans are also social animals meaning we
don’t really like being alone. I think I felt more sad about the people I was
leaving behind when I left for college as oppose to the stores or malls or
coffee shops I used to hang out at in my hometown. They say the older you get
the more difficult it is to make friends. I beg to differ: I met my best friend
at an afterschool study program when I was almost 18 years old. And I made some
really good friends in college; people I think will stay in my life for a very
long time. So I don’t think that age matters in this department, I think it’s
more of a circumstance thing. Whether you click with someone in order for a
friendship to form. So when you’re at a new place, starting a new job or just
entering college, don’t think that the only people you can relate and talk to
are your friends from back home.
If you’re in college, you will most likely
share class with people from all different backgrounds who are just as enthused
by their new surroundings as you are. Friends in college are the most fascinating
to make (in my opinion) because college has a way of bringing people together
that would’ve never met under different circumstances. Plus, everyone’s so
excited over this new chapter in their life that you’ll find yourself right at
home. So just start up a conversation with the person sitting next to you in
class! If you’re in a new city for work, your everyday interactions with
co-workers is already a great place to start: just ask for information on what
to do in the new city!
-
Starting
to feel like home:
So… you’re starting to see how you’re making a new life for
yourself. You know where to go for what you need, you have some steady points
in your life (school, work etc.) and you even discovered some new things that
you didn’t know existed or had never tried before! It’s starting to feel like
you “belong” somewhere and that you don’t need to think of home to feel good
about yourself. So YAY
-
…What
about home?
And then it hits you again. What about home, what about the people
you left behind? Maybe this isn’t a problem for someone who moved to another
city within the same country (which works out great, because if you feel like
it, you can just visit your family and friends for the weekend or something),
but for me, my case was different: I had the Atlantic ocean, a 10-hour plain
ride and a 7-hour time difference separating me from everything I knew.
Meanwhile I was in a new city (a lot bigger than my own city or country, for
that matter), with a different way of life and even a different culture. So for
those of you who experience something similar, there might come a time in this
process where you feel like even though you started to feel like home in your
new place, your old life is starting to slip away.
Friends might not contact
you as often and it might be hard to even get ahold of your family, because
they’re in a different time zone! Your everyday life is different from your
people back home and it might feel like when you first started your new life:
uncomfortable, kind of lost and lonely. First of all, breathe: these things
happen when you move so far away from what you call home and it’s only natural
for some things to change. Friends will come and go and that’s the hard truth;
there are very few people that can withstand the test of time. In my opinion,
this is a form of catharsis; I prefer surrounding myself with people that care
about me and are there no matter what.
I know it feels great when you seem to
have a huge group of friends but when shit hits the fan you truly find out how
good of a friend they really are. So don’t get upset if you lose some friends
in the process of accomplishing your dreams of studying or working abroad! Some
friends might also feel jealous towards you and that pretty much kills the
friendship at its core. Some others might feel like they don’t have many things
in common with you anymore. But it’s not because either of you did something
wrong, it’s just how things go sometimes. Don’t feel like it’s the end of the
world when you do visit home and feel a bit out of place. If anything, both
sides (you and home) have been up to completely different things for a while
and it will take time before you get back into it! Another thing to stress out
is this: talk about what you’re going through. To a friend, a relative, therapist
whatever! Starting a new life isn’t easy and not many people can do it.
-
In the
end:
Our life’s decisions shape us and our character! No matter what, leaving
home and studying/working/living elsewhere will make you a much stronger and
well-rounded individual. All of the above tips are not meant to tell you how to
experience leaving home, they are mere examples of how to make things easier
and they are based on my experiences of studying/working in another country. In
any case, all you need to do is seize the opportunities life gives you and make
the most out of them!
*S
No comments:
Post a Comment